My own little corner of the universe

It seems like this should all be easier.

There's this eternal quest that we, as people, are on each and every day for some sort of peace to the soul, world peace, peace through Jesus, whatever. Yet, we are constantly in the realm of chasing distraction.

I can't stand to pay my bills, so I'll watch TV
I don't like coming home to my wife, so I'm going to the bar
I hate doing my expenses for work, so I'll "research" on "MySpace"
I have important things to do so...oooooo....something shiny!

Distractions. And it's getting worse. Video games, blogs, MySpace, 500 channels of high definition TV, AM/FM/HD/Satellite Radio, Cell phones, Blackberrys, and on and on.

It's even gotten to the point that people refuse to make plans any more. You call someone, including me, and invite them to something, rarely do you get a "yes". It's more like a "sounds good, let me see what's going on".

We've taken a fear of commitment to a level of not even committing our minds to a train of thought.

I'm voting for a slow down. No more reasons of doing things just because "we can". More, we should do things when "we should".

Where should it start? With each of us. Believe me, no leader is going to stand up and say "slow down" (unless you're in a union, in which case...well...it's understood). No, our "leaders" are captains of industry; masters of their domain; powerful/knowledgeable people. They demand information NOW about stuff that's happening LATER. These are the same people who will choose to pollute a lake because "the law didn't state that we couldn't put THIS chemical in there". That will fleece people of their money because "hey, the law didn't say we couldn't put up dummy corporations to make us look profitable".

No, the revolution starts here. When you're sick of needing Red Bull just to make it through your week. When you're worn out from having to juggle work and time with the family. When you're staying home at 10:00 at night to work on a project for you boss that you got called on at 6:00 that same evening. It's time to say "MY TIME"

Because We Have To!!

10 Pounds of Fucked Face Hate

I can't stand it in this small town anymore. I have to get out. I got left with this place in the divorce (though she got everything inside, I got stuck selling a shell). The realtors in this area are slipshod if not outright incompetent and this place is sucking my soul dry.

If I lived where I'm aiming, I'd be riding my bike around a lake, going to museums, seeing movies/plays/theater, LIVE MUSIC that isn't roustabout shit.

Instead, I have to pack up my existence and travel a few hours to get to anything that feels like home and away from the place listed as my current address. This place isn't hell in reality, but it's hell on me.

I'm in love, I have friends, and all of those are ELSEWHERE!!!

I've gotten to the point where I hate my ex wife for a ton of reasons, though I started by just not being able to stay married to her anymore. But for me being stuck out here for something I did for her, I am forever fucking mutilated in my heart when it comes to her being able to bolt and move on. She is a fuck stick and a cheat and selfish and stupid and I cannot believe I was married to that stink box for such a long period of time.

I just am fucking raging today against all things that are my past since they are preventing me from what I would like to have as my present.

If someone were to just burn my house down, you'd be helping me.

Fuck!!!!!

That lingering wait...

I've never actually changed all that much from when I was a kid. I have in many ways (mortgage, bills, more responsible, etc), but there are just some things you revert to. I still procrastinate to a ridiculous degree. I still eat the wrong food and like watching TV. I still wait anxiously by the phone waiting for people who said they were going to call to actually CALL. I get nervous around women. All that shit.

The funny thing is, I've been finding things out about me that I didn't know. Some of these things would have been a MAJOR confidence booster. But I look back and kind of realize that I wouldn't have been a good guy if I had known things when I was younger. I think my life is progressing at the correct rate.

Now if I could just fucking lose weight and change some other habits so I can live to see my kids grow up, pay my stuff on time, and make progress in my workplace. I'm so happy with parts of my life, but so letting others just sit stagnant. Maybe it's not their time to be worked on and keeping them from evaporating but not growing is all I can do with them for now.

Until then, I gotta eat right. :)

What's my name?

I do accents...all the time. I love them. I'm always trying to see if people can guess where I'm from by the way I speak. My natural voice has no accent to it...it should have a southern twang, but it does not. No real explanation, except that when I was young I told my mom I wanted to be a D.J. She said I couldn't do it with my southern accent, that D.J.'s went to class to learn how to speak without an accent. I didn't know what she meant, and then I heard it. I also went to Pennsylvania and had everyone go "aww...you're from _______ aren't you?"

I also noticed that the general concensus is that southern accent=dumb. It's not true, but it sticks in the American cultural noggin.

But when I lost my accent, I learned how to do others. I've gotten to the point to where I will pick up people's accents when I'm drinking. After 5 days in Boston, I got to where I was doing it without realizing it. We went to a bar and I took a minute longer to go in and then was jabbing with the bartender about all the tourists in our bar. He agreed and then asked:
"What neighborhood you from?"
"Dallas."
"Where's that"
"In Texas"

He got pissed and then laughed his head off.

There's a trick to accents. You have to find a phrase that takes you there. Make it as stupidly generic as possible, but find something that brings back the accent naturally...just makes you have to say it that way.

For instance, the famous "pahk de cah in de gahrahg" (park the car in the garage) for Boston will get it going in a wicked fashion. California, a simple "hey dude, the surf is beautiful" makes it just flow. It's little details that are different. I once noticed that when English people tried to speak with an American southern accent, they sounded Australian.

That's right, Aussie's are just hick Brits.

So I found a way to subtly change the sound of my voice and go from England to Australia to Texas to the deep south to Jersey, Boston, Chicago, Minneapolis, and California. I also do some funny French, Spanish, and Indian voices.

That's where the name comes from. When I do my Indian (Western Asia version) voice, I always think of Apoo in the Simpsons. I couldn't just do Apoo, so I had my own convienence store guy work at 7-Eleven. Abdula Ikibarra just popped out of me one day as the person's name. When someone asked if it was a real name, I said "loosely translated, it's the numbers 'seven' and 'eleven'."

We were drunk and it was funny as hell, so I kept it.

The worst case scenario was when I worked for a company who had a VP who was a Brit. He came to a dinner/reception and we were all downing drinks. At some point, he's talking to me and my british accent just popped right out.

I don't know if he caught it or not, he never indicated...but in my head I went "holy shit!!"

Next up...something else.

Musical Snob Ass Motherfuckers

For the record, I used to be one. I still have some problems with it. I love bands when they're small and then they lose me when they're big. Not because of the "sold out" thing, but because it's no longer "mine".

I remember going to a Pat Metheny concert for the first time and being bummed that there were a shitload of people there and they were all big fans like I am. It was hard not to be down hearted afterwards, except the music was so great and we were all singing along.

I have some friends who are still snobbier than me, but Ms. T is kicking my ass about being a snooty s.o.b. when it comes to this stuff. Good thing, I guess.

What I can't stand are people who will tell you that your taste in music SUCKS if it isn't theirs. My former brother-in-law is like that...so is, interestingly enough, another guy named Michael who lives in my small town. He's just an over opinionated fuck who needs to be hit several times in the nut sack with a bag of nails, so his opinion doesn't matter.

Still, his attitude is congruent with the type of stoggy, stick-up-the-ass types who think that their vision of "art" if far superior.

Look, it's okay if you like Justin Timberlake or Rob Thomas or Carrie Underwood or whatever, as long as you give My Morning Jacket or Umphrey's McGhee or Peeping Tom a spin or two sometime...and vice versa.

But fuck whatever band put out that "Barbie Girl" song. Just fuck them til they bleed and leave 'em dying.

Have a nice day.

Start it off right

I have a myspace account, but I'm always putting things on there so embedded with code and obfuscation that I sometimes can't tell what the hell I'm talking about. So a friend of mine (actually, a few) has a site on this thing, so I thought I'd sneak over here for some freedom. I haven't decided if I'll tell anyone about it or not. Maybe this will be here strictly for people to stumble across and leave the world at that.

I'm almost 7 weeks into a relationship with a woman named Theresa. After getting divorced earlier this year, I did the "bounce around the bedroom" thing for a little while and then just cleared my head. I was very interested in a woman named Joslyn for some time. We met back in (I think) February or March, I'm unclear. I somehow decided that the best course of action was to take my time with her to see if she would come around after a while. The old "friends first, lovers later" approach.

So I'm out one night and am supposed to meet some people, including Josi, when I spot this woman just singing and laughing with her friends and she stuck in my head. I kept stealing glances her way, but she was surrounded by so many people, I couldn't bring myself to intrude.
Didn't have to, it turns out, as she "accidentally" sat in my lap about an hour later. Turns out that when I hadn't been looking her way, she had been looking mine. That's how we met. First date was about a week later and we just took off from there.

It's hard not to compare relationships, but Theresa has shown me more love and respect, and receives it with equal aplomb, than I got during the entirety of my former marriage or was able to truly give.

The funny thing is, a few nights ago Josi was in a pickle about a situation with a guy. I was the last friend standing and our friendship has actually become vastly better since Theresa came along (oh, and for the record, I never stood a chance with Josi). I ended up sharing my most current experience as saying "this is how good it can be, where are you?". It was the first time in a long time I can remember using my relationship as an example of greatness rather than asking questions and being disappointed by my situation.

It's Sunday. I live in a small town that I'm moving out of soon. Tonight I head off to the city to spend time with Theresa and then out of town for a few days on business. I have to mow the yard and pack and plan and all that first, so I should probably sign off on this for now.

I'll have vastly more creative blogs than this, it just takes me a bit to get the feel of how free I want to be and how much I need to say (and a little to do with just how creative I feel that morning). If you've found me, come back from time to time. We'll laugh...