Monday, January 28, 2008

A large plate o' something

It's so easy to become apathetic to this world we live in. It's so easy to just ignore what's going on around you every day: this injustices, the greed, the crime, racism, sexism, religious persecution. Why? Because it's tough to get by paying your own bills and taking care of the small circle of people in your life AND do something about everything else.

Everything we do means we sacrifice something else. It's that simple. It comes down to what are you willing to sacrifice to gain something else. Are we, karmically, alloted only "x" amount of things that can be ours and then it's all a trade off?

Seriously. Think like, oh, Donald Trump. The king of capitalism has buildings, money, a t.v. show, kids, etc. Great life, eh? But he does it at the sacrifice of generosity, trust, and of being able to really work at (or have) love. Or my boy Howard Stern. He's got the love thing, kids, success, but he's miserable in public, can't go places he'd like to go, and is constantly uncomfortable around even some of his own people.

You get a girlfriend/boyfriend, you sacrifice time with your other friends. You work on your career, your family suffers a bit. You go to find your own space in the world and you lose time with your family back home.

Is it worth it? Again, it depends on what you want to give up.

Take musicians, for instance, since I am familiar with what they go through. To make it, and I mean to take the course that allows you to break through and reach the public eye, you have to give up a ton. First, you give up the day job. Next, you hit the road, so you give up time with the core group of folks who make up your non-musical life. You give up your dignity playing to empty shitholes for no money, and the lack of money from playing (or a day job) means you give up a comfort zone for constant anxiety.

Worth it if you make it and can bring all of that back in plus bonuses? Maybe. Except now you can't go out in public without making a scene (my buddy Raine from Our Lady Peace once had a girl in a 7-11 at 3:00 a.m. drop her Slurpee and start SCREAMING when she saw him), you might even have media surrounding your every move (especially if you start dating a model/actor), and you had better trust your old friends (if they take you back) because your "new friends" are all suspect for what they want from you. Plus, now you have a whole team of people counting on you to support their families and such with your music, so now the joy of writing a song has pressure on it too. Can you imagine the dilemma of "I really like this chorus to the song, it says EXACTLY how I feel and has a cool dark vibe, but this OTHER chorus will sell a million copies but suck artistically?" Your art takes second place to fiscal responsibility for a ton of people.

My job requires odd hours, travel, and a lot of passionate dedication. But I'm to the point that I really just want to earn a decent living and have time to be with friends/family and play music. My job pays pretty well, so if I change, I will probably go down in pay just a bit. See, it's all sacrifices.

But maybe knowing that is how you don't worry about all of it. You know you want love, so you sacrifice your security to open up to someone else hoping they see it too. You know you want a kid, so you sacrifice your free time. If it's important enough, you'll do it. If your friends/family are smart enough, they'll support you and make whatever sacrifices they have to make in order to fulfill a mutual desire to not give up some of your core needs.

One of my friends, the moment she finds a new guy, you don't hear from her any more. Another one disappears when she's depressed at all. For me, these are the times I want to be involved. I want to hear about relationships, I want to make my friend laugh when she's down. It's not something I'm willing to give up.

I'm also trying to be aware of when I have, even subconsciously, put something aside when I've taken on something new. I think if we did that more often, we'd find a better balance between what we want and what we need to do. I can't save the world alone, but maybe I can be just one more voice for change. How much time would it take to write a Congressional Rep or a Senator regarding an issue? How much time does it take to vote? How much money does it take to lend support to the people who have sacrificed something else in their lives to physically work at making a difference?

Look around and maybe you can find a balance. Then you need to go do it. If it means you eat dinner with your significant other an hour later than normal, so be it.

No comments: