It's so easy to become apathetic to this world we live in. It's so easy to just ignore what's going on around you every day: this injustices, the greed, the crime, racism, sexism, religious persecution. Why? Because it's tough to get by paying your own bills and taking care of the small circle of people in your life AND do something about everything else.
Everything we do means we sacrifice something else. It's that simple. It comes down to what are you willing to sacrifice to gain something else. Are we, karmically, alloted only "x" amount of things that can be ours and then it's all a trade off?
Seriously. Think like, oh, Donald Trump. The king of capitalism has buildings, money, a t.v. show, kids, etc. Great life, eh? But he does it at the sacrifice of generosity, trust, and of being able to really work at (or have) love. Or my boy Howard Stern. He's got the love thing, kids, success, but he's miserable in public, can't go places he'd like to go, and is constantly uncomfortable around even some of his own people.
You get a girlfriend/boyfriend, you sacrifice time with your other friends. You work on your career, your family suffers a bit. You go to find your own space in the world and you lose time with your family back home.
Is it worth it? Again, it depends on what you want to give up.
Take musicians, for instance, since I am familiar with what they go through. To make it, and I mean to take the course that allows you to break through and reach the public eye, you have to give up a ton. First, you give up the day job. Next, you hit the road, so you give up time with the core group of folks who make up your non-musical life. You give up your dignity playing to empty shitholes for no money, and the lack of money from playing (or a day job) means you give up a comfort zone for constant anxiety.
Worth it if you make it and can bring all of that back in plus bonuses? Maybe. Except now you can't go out in public without making a scene (my buddy Raine from Our Lady Peace once had a girl in a 7-11 at 3:00 a.m. drop her Slurpee and start SCREAMING when she saw him), you might even have media surrounding your every move (especially if you start dating a model/actor), and you had better trust your old friends (if they take you back) because your "new friends" are all suspect for what they want from you. Plus, now you have a whole team of people counting on you to support their families and such with your music, so now the joy of writing a song has pressure on it too. Can you imagine the dilemma of "I really like this chorus to the song, it says EXACTLY how I feel and has a cool dark vibe, but this OTHER chorus will sell a million copies but suck artistically?" Your art takes second place to fiscal responsibility for a ton of people.
My job requires odd hours, travel, and a lot of passionate dedication. But I'm to the point that I really just want to earn a decent living and have time to be with friends/family and play music. My job pays pretty well, so if I change, I will probably go down in pay just a bit. See, it's all sacrifices.
But maybe knowing that is how you don't worry about all of it. You know you want love, so you sacrifice your security to open up to someone else hoping they see it too. You know you want a kid, so you sacrifice your free time. If it's important enough, you'll do it. If your friends/family are smart enough, they'll support you and make whatever sacrifices they have to make in order to fulfill a mutual desire to not give up some of your core needs.
One of my friends, the moment she finds a new guy, you don't hear from her any more. Another one disappears when she's depressed at all. For me, these are the times I want to be involved. I want to hear about relationships, I want to make my friend laugh when she's down. It's not something I'm willing to give up.
I'm also trying to be aware of when I have, even subconsciously, put something aside when I've taken on something new. I think if we did that more often, we'd find a better balance between what we want and what we need to do. I can't save the world alone, but maybe I can be just one more voice for change. How much time would it take to write a Congressional Rep or a Senator regarding an issue? How much time does it take to vote? How much money does it take to lend support to the people who have sacrificed something else in their lives to physically work at making a difference?
Look around and maybe you can find a balance. Then you need to go do it. If it means you eat dinner with your significant other an hour later than normal, so be it.
Monday, January 28, 2008
Saturday, January 26, 2008
Work Sucks
The guy in "Office Space" was right. If I had the money, I think I wouldn't do much of anything. At least, not for a bit.
Good god is the work week getting ridiculous? How many people do you know with a job that only lasts 40 hours? How many people do you know that don't take their vacation time from work? How many people do you know who did all that and still got laid off?
ME! I know quite a few, but mostly I WAS one of those people. And it sucked when it happened.
I think a job should support your life, not be the reason you live.
There are folks working in factories who work what they call "712s"...that means 7 days 12 hours a day. Sure, you get overtime, but look at your time table. 1 hour to get ready in the morning (including a fast meal), 20 minutes to get to work, 25 to get home, 30 minutes to cook dinner, 30 to eat and clean...if you got up at 5 a.m. it is now already 8:00 in the evening. To get 8 hours of sleep, you have to be in bed in an hour. Spend a little time with your kids, brush your teeth (well, not out here), and get to sleep...NOW.
There were propaganda movies in the early days of animation that talked about how technological advances were going to "do away with the 40 hour work week". Nice wording, because it's true. Now, thanks to cellphones with Blackberry, e-mail, and whatnot, I can't escape my work EVER. My job has me on call from 8:00 a.m. my time until 4:00 a.m. every day. Someone could call me at anytime during that 20 hour period. I work a lot of weekends, evenings, etc...and most people tell me they would give their right arm for my job.
What the hell??!!
We're fast enough and efficient enough to realize that we could be productive enough and work less these days. We need to stop and listen for opportunity and showcase it and then GO HOME!! We're on a technological juggernaut that is unprecedented in human history...let's enjoy the fact that so much can be done for us so quickly and chill out for a bit.
Good god is the work week getting ridiculous? How many people do you know with a job that only lasts 40 hours? How many people do you know that don't take their vacation time from work? How many people do you know who did all that and still got laid off?
ME! I know quite a few, but mostly I WAS one of those people. And it sucked when it happened.
I think a job should support your life, not be the reason you live.
There are folks working in factories who work what they call "712s"...that means 7 days 12 hours a day. Sure, you get overtime, but look at your time table. 1 hour to get ready in the morning (including a fast meal), 20 minutes to get to work, 25 to get home, 30 minutes to cook dinner, 30 to eat and clean...if you got up at 5 a.m. it is now already 8:00 in the evening. To get 8 hours of sleep, you have to be in bed in an hour. Spend a little time with your kids, brush your teeth (well, not out here), and get to sleep...NOW.
There were propaganda movies in the early days of animation that talked about how technological advances were going to "do away with the 40 hour work week". Nice wording, because it's true. Now, thanks to cellphones with Blackberry, e-mail, and whatnot, I can't escape my work EVER. My job has me on call from 8:00 a.m. my time until 4:00 a.m. every day. Someone could call me at anytime during that 20 hour period. I work a lot of weekends, evenings, etc...and most people tell me they would give their right arm for my job.
What the hell??!!
We're fast enough and efficient enough to realize that we could be productive enough and work less these days. We need to stop and listen for opportunity and showcase it and then GO HOME!! We're on a technological juggernaut that is unprecedented in human history...let's enjoy the fact that so much can be done for us so quickly and chill out for a bit.
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Heath Bar Redux
I wrote a post the other day concerning Heath Ledger. At the time, I just blew it in as another Hollywood overdose. He had never caught my radar other than a couple of movies in which he didn't make me think twice about him, and, when Brokeback Mountain came out, that he had impregnated his female co-star. Some time later I heard they broke up.
That was it.
I got caught up in a rant and made it about him and I forgot what I really didn't want out of all this. I didn't want ANOTHER dead movie star/rock star to be made into this iconic thing. I didn't want to hear about it during every segment on the news. I don't read papers or watch the news and I can tell you about almost every step of this investigation.
Look, when the world has enough problems to over come and people in our government are making HUGE PROFITS off of regular people's lives...why the fuck should I care about every incoming detail of an actors death? Thanks for the distraction, now go investigate stuff that really matters. PLEASE!!
That's what I meant to say.
That was it.
I got caught up in a rant and made it about him and I forgot what I really didn't want out of all this. I didn't want ANOTHER dead movie star/rock star to be made into this iconic thing. I didn't want to hear about it during every segment on the news. I don't read papers or watch the news and I can tell you about almost every step of this investigation.
Look, when the world has enough problems to over come and people in our government are making HUGE PROFITS off of regular people's lives...why the fuck should I care about every incoming detail of an actors death? Thanks for the distraction, now go investigate stuff that really matters. PLEASE!!
That's what I meant to say.
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Looking back
Not surprisingly, like so many folks, I really didn't enjoy my childhood. I've always been a bit weird and definitely misunderstood. Problem is, it wasn't like I was trying to be that way, I just was.
I know a lot of people who work very hard at alienating society. Not me. My thing was just I perceived the world differently. I dressed properly but economically challenged; I watched popular movies and listened to popular music; I enjoyed many of the same events as most people. But I always ended up liking something about all of this that was different than the rest of the people did. Not intentional, again, just how I took it in.
There's no real reason why I do this, I just see things from a different angle than most folks. It makes it hard for me, though, to "play the game" that most people play with each other. For instance, I have no challenge just talking about almost anything; no filters whatsoever. It freaks people out some times that I can so casually talk about fine art and taking a good shit with the same fervor and insight. Over the years, I've learned to temper the verbal output, but my mind still goes to all the dark places it used to.
There have been benefits too. In challenges where normal preconceived notions are not facilitating a solution, I can find a new path because my brain isn't concerned with what people did before me as much as it is focused on the end result and the process of getting there. It was also beneficial in allowing me to get into the music industry early on in my life because I had this weird ability to spot talent. I bought the first Def Leppard album when it came out and had to drive to a billion stores to find a store that had even brought it in. I tried, unsuccessfully, to get any number of people to come see this cool little band I had found called Green Day on their first tour. I sat in the back of a room full of record label folks after listening to a quartet of young women (13/14 year olds) singing songs from their still-being-recorded first album and had the following conversation with their rep that went like this:
Her: So what do you think?
Me: They're good. What's the blonde haired girls name?
Her: Beyonce
Me: Whatever happens with Destiny's Child or not, THAT girl is a star.
So, it's been useful.
But so many times, it sucks.
I miss the "hidden messages" of what people are trying to tell me. I take things too literally. I really love music that makes people go "WTF, mate?". On and on, I find myself still, after 30-something years, like an outsider that is somehow just enough on the inside to kind of get away with doing my thing but being allowed to stick around.
It also meant that my straight and narrow step-dad and I always (have and will) butt heads. His shortsightedness and my oddball dreamer status clashed to the point that these days I will sometimes rebel against things "just because". I will even make detrimental choices just to disappoint him. It's stupid, but I can't help it. When I was younger, I didn't want to make him mad...making him mad just made my life, and my mom's life, a living hell. But as time went on, I also figured out that even when I did things right, he would search for what I did wrong inside of that right and rip me for that. After a while, I stopped stressing about pleasing him, which pissed him off 38 ways from Sunday. If you can't win, lose beautifully, right?
If pushed, I can recall things from when I was a kid, but that stuff doesn't come flowing back nostalgically. It usually is either excavated violently or has to be searched for in the back of my mind. I didn't keep much stuff (mementos, awards, anything) from that time and that continues to this day. I never made a practice of capturing a memento and story from a moment in time, so I don't have the trigger that makes me do it to this day.
Only recently have I developed a sentimentality for the past. I wish I had kept all my ticket stubs. I wish I had taken more pictures of events and people. I wish I had kept a journal.
Instead, it's all up in my head and the only way I can share is to occasionally tell a long winded story or two.
If you're young and reading this, here's my advice: hold on to things from now for later. Don't junk up, but take lots of digital pictures and carefully store away the little things that make you smile now. Someday you'll have kids and new friends and you'll want that ability to show them a part of who you are/who you were with great visual aid.
Or, if you're like me, you'll just hear these words and say "fuck that". ;)
I know a lot of people who work very hard at alienating society. Not me. My thing was just I perceived the world differently. I dressed properly but economically challenged; I watched popular movies and listened to popular music; I enjoyed many of the same events as most people. But I always ended up liking something about all of this that was different than the rest of the people did. Not intentional, again, just how I took it in.
There's no real reason why I do this, I just see things from a different angle than most folks. It makes it hard for me, though, to "play the game" that most people play with each other. For instance, I have no challenge just talking about almost anything; no filters whatsoever. It freaks people out some times that I can so casually talk about fine art and taking a good shit with the same fervor and insight. Over the years, I've learned to temper the verbal output, but my mind still goes to all the dark places it used to.
There have been benefits too. In challenges where normal preconceived notions are not facilitating a solution, I can find a new path because my brain isn't concerned with what people did before me as much as it is focused on the end result and the process of getting there. It was also beneficial in allowing me to get into the music industry early on in my life because I had this weird ability to spot talent. I bought the first Def Leppard album when it came out and had to drive to a billion stores to find a store that had even brought it in. I tried, unsuccessfully, to get any number of people to come see this cool little band I had found called Green Day on their first tour. I sat in the back of a room full of record label folks after listening to a quartet of young women (13/14 year olds) singing songs from their still-being-recorded first album and had the following conversation with their rep that went like this:
Her: So what do you think?
Me: They're good. What's the blonde haired girls name?
Her: Beyonce
Me: Whatever happens with Destiny's Child or not, THAT girl is a star.
So, it's been useful.
But so many times, it sucks.
I miss the "hidden messages" of what people are trying to tell me. I take things too literally. I really love music that makes people go "WTF, mate?". On and on, I find myself still, after 30-something years, like an outsider that is somehow just enough on the inside to kind of get away with doing my thing but being allowed to stick around.
It also meant that my straight and narrow step-dad and I always (have and will) butt heads. His shortsightedness and my oddball dreamer status clashed to the point that these days I will sometimes rebel against things "just because". I will even make detrimental choices just to disappoint him. It's stupid, but I can't help it. When I was younger, I didn't want to make him mad...making him mad just made my life, and my mom's life, a living hell. But as time went on, I also figured out that even when I did things right, he would search for what I did wrong inside of that right and rip me for that. After a while, I stopped stressing about pleasing him, which pissed him off 38 ways from Sunday. If you can't win, lose beautifully, right?
If pushed, I can recall things from when I was a kid, but that stuff doesn't come flowing back nostalgically. It usually is either excavated violently or has to be searched for in the back of my mind. I didn't keep much stuff (mementos, awards, anything) from that time and that continues to this day. I never made a practice of capturing a memento and story from a moment in time, so I don't have the trigger that makes me do it to this day.
Only recently have I developed a sentimentality for the past. I wish I had kept all my ticket stubs. I wish I had taken more pictures of events and people. I wish I had kept a journal.
Instead, it's all up in my head and the only way I can share is to occasionally tell a long winded story or two.
If you're young and reading this, here's my advice: hold on to things from now for later. Don't junk up, but take lots of digital pictures and carefully store away the little things that make you smile now. Someday you'll have kids and new friends and you'll want that ability to show them a part of who you are/who you were with great visual aid.
Or, if you're like me, you'll just hear these words and say "fuck that". ;)
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
3 Movies
I like movies that transport you away from this world while setting themselves in it. To that end:
August Rush- just makes you want to believe in the power of music and love and god.
I Am Legend- just makes you want to believe that Insurance and Medical companies are going to kill us all...including Will Smith
Cloverfield- just makes you...kidding. The story is old, the setting has been done, the demise is Shakespearian, and there's probably going to be a sequel. If motion makes you sick, don't watch. But, for sheer "thrill" and a modern visual perspective, about 90 minutes of movie magic. Oh, and the creature is just fucking scary looking.
After all 3 of these movies, it took me a while to kind of put my head back in the world. I like that.
August Rush- just makes you want to believe in the power of music and love and god.
I Am Legend- just makes you want to believe that Insurance and Medical companies are going to kill us all...including Will Smith
Cloverfield- just makes you...kidding. The story is old, the setting has been done, the demise is Shakespearian, and there's probably going to be a sequel. If motion makes you sick, don't watch. But, for sheer "thrill" and a modern visual perspective, about 90 minutes of movie magic. Oh, and the creature is just fucking scary looking.
After all 3 of these movies, it took me a while to kind of put my head back in the world. I like that.
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