The guy in "Office Space" was right. If I had the money, I think I wouldn't do much of anything. At least, not for a bit.
Good god is the work week getting ridiculous? How many people do you know with a job that only lasts 40 hours? How many people do you know that don't take their vacation time from work? How many people do you know who did all that and still got laid off?
ME! I know quite a few, but mostly I WAS one of those people. And it sucked when it happened.
I think a job should support your life, not be the reason you live.
There are folks working in factories who work what they call "712s"...that means 7 days 12 hours a day. Sure, you get overtime, but look at your time table. 1 hour to get ready in the morning (including a fast meal), 20 minutes to get to work, 25 to get home, 30 minutes to cook dinner, 30 to eat and clean...if you got up at 5 a.m. it is now already 8:00 in the evening. To get 8 hours of sleep, you have to be in bed in an hour. Spend a little time with your kids, brush your teeth (well, not out here), and get to sleep...NOW.
There were propaganda movies in the early days of animation that talked about how technological advances were going to "do away with the 40 hour work week". Nice wording, because it's true. Now, thanks to cellphones with Blackberry, e-mail, and whatnot, I can't escape my work EVER. My job has me on call from 8:00 a.m. my time until 4:00 a.m. every day. Someone could call me at anytime during that 20 hour period. I work a lot of weekends, evenings, etc...and most people tell me they would give their right arm for my job.
What the hell??!!
We're fast enough and efficient enough to realize that we could be productive enough and work less these days. We need to stop and listen for opportunity and showcase it and then GO HOME!! We're on a technological juggernaut that is unprecedented in human history...let's enjoy the fact that so much can be done for us so quickly and chill out for a bit.
Saturday, January 26, 2008
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Heath Bar Redux
I wrote a post the other day concerning Heath Ledger. At the time, I just blew it in as another Hollywood overdose. He had never caught my radar other than a couple of movies in which he didn't make me think twice about him, and, when Brokeback Mountain came out, that he had impregnated his female co-star. Some time later I heard they broke up.
That was it.
I got caught up in a rant and made it about him and I forgot what I really didn't want out of all this. I didn't want ANOTHER dead movie star/rock star to be made into this iconic thing. I didn't want to hear about it during every segment on the news. I don't read papers or watch the news and I can tell you about almost every step of this investigation.
Look, when the world has enough problems to over come and people in our government are making HUGE PROFITS off of regular people's lives...why the fuck should I care about every incoming detail of an actors death? Thanks for the distraction, now go investigate stuff that really matters. PLEASE!!
That's what I meant to say.
That was it.
I got caught up in a rant and made it about him and I forgot what I really didn't want out of all this. I didn't want ANOTHER dead movie star/rock star to be made into this iconic thing. I didn't want to hear about it during every segment on the news. I don't read papers or watch the news and I can tell you about almost every step of this investigation.
Look, when the world has enough problems to over come and people in our government are making HUGE PROFITS off of regular people's lives...why the fuck should I care about every incoming detail of an actors death? Thanks for the distraction, now go investigate stuff that really matters. PLEASE!!
That's what I meant to say.
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Looking back
Not surprisingly, like so many folks, I really didn't enjoy my childhood. I've always been a bit weird and definitely misunderstood. Problem is, it wasn't like I was trying to be that way, I just was.
I know a lot of people who work very hard at alienating society. Not me. My thing was just I perceived the world differently. I dressed properly but economically challenged; I watched popular movies and listened to popular music; I enjoyed many of the same events as most people. But I always ended up liking something about all of this that was different than the rest of the people did. Not intentional, again, just how I took it in.
There's no real reason why I do this, I just see things from a different angle than most folks. It makes it hard for me, though, to "play the game" that most people play with each other. For instance, I have no challenge just talking about almost anything; no filters whatsoever. It freaks people out some times that I can so casually talk about fine art and taking a good shit with the same fervor and insight. Over the years, I've learned to temper the verbal output, but my mind still goes to all the dark places it used to.
There have been benefits too. In challenges where normal preconceived notions are not facilitating a solution, I can find a new path because my brain isn't concerned with what people did before me as much as it is focused on the end result and the process of getting there. It was also beneficial in allowing me to get into the music industry early on in my life because I had this weird ability to spot talent. I bought the first Def Leppard album when it came out and had to drive to a billion stores to find a store that had even brought it in. I tried, unsuccessfully, to get any number of people to come see this cool little band I had found called Green Day on their first tour. I sat in the back of a room full of record label folks after listening to a quartet of young women (13/14 year olds) singing songs from their still-being-recorded first album and had the following conversation with their rep that went like this:
Her: So what do you think?
Me: They're good. What's the blonde haired girls name?
Her: Beyonce
Me: Whatever happens with Destiny's Child or not, THAT girl is a star.
So, it's been useful.
But so many times, it sucks.
I miss the "hidden messages" of what people are trying to tell me. I take things too literally. I really love music that makes people go "WTF, mate?". On and on, I find myself still, after 30-something years, like an outsider that is somehow just enough on the inside to kind of get away with doing my thing but being allowed to stick around.
It also meant that my straight and narrow step-dad and I always (have and will) butt heads. His shortsightedness and my oddball dreamer status clashed to the point that these days I will sometimes rebel against things "just because". I will even make detrimental choices just to disappoint him. It's stupid, but I can't help it. When I was younger, I didn't want to make him mad...making him mad just made my life, and my mom's life, a living hell. But as time went on, I also figured out that even when I did things right, he would search for what I did wrong inside of that right and rip me for that. After a while, I stopped stressing about pleasing him, which pissed him off 38 ways from Sunday. If you can't win, lose beautifully, right?
If pushed, I can recall things from when I was a kid, but that stuff doesn't come flowing back nostalgically. It usually is either excavated violently or has to be searched for in the back of my mind. I didn't keep much stuff (mementos, awards, anything) from that time and that continues to this day. I never made a practice of capturing a memento and story from a moment in time, so I don't have the trigger that makes me do it to this day.
Only recently have I developed a sentimentality for the past. I wish I had kept all my ticket stubs. I wish I had taken more pictures of events and people. I wish I had kept a journal.
Instead, it's all up in my head and the only way I can share is to occasionally tell a long winded story or two.
If you're young and reading this, here's my advice: hold on to things from now for later. Don't junk up, but take lots of digital pictures and carefully store away the little things that make you smile now. Someday you'll have kids and new friends and you'll want that ability to show them a part of who you are/who you were with great visual aid.
Or, if you're like me, you'll just hear these words and say "fuck that". ;)
I know a lot of people who work very hard at alienating society. Not me. My thing was just I perceived the world differently. I dressed properly but economically challenged; I watched popular movies and listened to popular music; I enjoyed many of the same events as most people. But I always ended up liking something about all of this that was different than the rest of the people did. Not intentional, again, just how I took it in.
There's no real reason why I do this, I just see things from a different angle than most folks. It makes it hard for me, though, to "play the game" that most people play with each other. For instance, I have no challenge just talking about almost anything; no filters whatsoever. It freaks people out some times that I can so casually talk about fine art and taking a good shit with the same fervor and insight. Over the years, I've learned to temper the verbal output, but my mind still goes to all the dark places it used to.
There have been benefits too. In challenges where normal preconceived notions are not facilitating a solution, I can find a new path because my brain isn't concerned with what people did before me as much as it is focused on the end result and the process of getting there. It was also beneficial in allowing me to get into the music industry early on in my life because I had this weird ability to spot talent. I bought the first Def Leppard album when it came out and had to drive to a billion stores to find a store that had even brought it in. I tried, unsuccessfully, to get any number of people to come see this cool little band I had found called Green Day on their first tour. I sat in the back of a room full of record label folks after listening to a quartet of young women (13/14 year olds) singing songs from their still-being-recorded first album and had the following conversation with their rep that went like this:
Her: So what do you think?
Me: They're good. What's the blonde haired girls name?
Her: Beyonce
Me: Whatever happens with Destiny's Child or not, THAT girl is a star.
So, it's been useful.
But so many times, it sucks.
I miss the "hidden messages" of what people are trying to tell me. I take things too literally. I really love music that makes people go "WTF, mate?". On and on, I find myself still, after 30-something years, like an outsider that is somehow just enough on the inside to kind of get away with doing my thing but being allowed to stick around.
It also meant that my straight and narrow step-dad and I always (have and will) butt heads. His shortsightedness and my oddball dreamer status clashed to the point that these days I will sometimes rebel against things "just because". I will even make detrimental choices just to disappoint him. It's stupid, but I can't help it. When I was younger, I didn't want to make him mad...making him mad just made my life, and my mom's life, a living hell. But as time went on, I also figured out that even when I did things right, he would search for what I did wrong inside of that right and rip me for that. After a while, I stopped stressing about pleasing him, which pissed him off 38 ways from Sunday. If you can't win, lose beautifully, right?
If pushed, I can recall things from when I was a kid, but that stuff doesn't come flowing back nostalgically. It usually is either excavated violently or has to be searched for in the back of my mind. I didn't keep much stuff (mementos, awards, anything) from that time and that continues to this day. I never made a practice of capturing a memento and story from a moment in time, so I don't have the trigger that makes me do it to this day.
Only recently have I developed a sentimentality for the past. I wish I had kept all my ticket stubs. I wish I had taken more pictures of events and people. I wish I had kept a journal.
Instead, it's all up in my head and the only way I can share is to occasionally tell a long winded story or two.
If you're young and reading this, here's my advice: hold on to things from now for later. Don't junk up, but take lots of digital pictures and carefully store away the little things that make you smile now. Someday you'll have kids and new friends and you'll want that ability to show them a part of who you are/who you were with great visual aid.
Or, if you're like me, you'll just hear these words and say "fuck that". ;)
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
3 Movies
I like movies that transport you away from this world while setting themselves in it. To that end:
August Rush- just makes you want to believe in the power of music and love and god.
I Am Legend- just makes you want to believe that Insurance and Medical companies are going to kill us all...including Will Smith
Cloverfield- just makes you...kidding. The story is old, the setting has been done, the demise is Shakespearian, and there's probably going to be a sequel. If motion makes you sick, don't watch. But, for sheer "thrill" and a modern visual perspective, about 90 minutes of movie magic. Oh, and the creature is just fucking scary looking.
After all 3 of these movies, it took me a while to kind of put my head back in the world. I like that.
August Rush- just makes you want to believe in the power of music and love and god.
I Am Legend- just makes you want to believe that Insurance and Medical companies are going to kill us all...including Will Smith
Cloverfield- just makes you...kidding. The story is old, the setting has been done, the demise is Shakespearian, and there's probably going to be a sequel. If motion makes you sick, don't watch. But, for sheer "thrill" and a modern visual perspective, about 90 minutes of movie magic. Oh, and the creature is just fucking scary looking.
After all 3 of these movies, it took me a while to kind of put my head back in the world. I like that.
Friday, September 28, 2007
My own little corner of the universe
It seems like this should all be easier.
There's this eternal quest that we, as people, are on each and every day for some sort of peace to the soul, world peace, peace through Jesus, whatever. Yet, we are constantly in the realm of chasing distraction.
I can't stand to pay my bills, so I'll watch TV
I don't like coming home to my wife, so I'm going to the bar
I hate doing my expenses for work, so I'll "research" on "MySpace"
I have important things to do so...oooooo....something shiny!
Distractions. And it's getting worse. Video games, blogs, MySpace, 500 channels of high definition TV, AM/FM/HD/Satellite Radio, Cell phones, Blackberrys, and on and on.
It's even gotten to the point that people refuse to make plans any more. You call someone, including me, and invite them to something, rarely do you get a "yes". It's more like a "sounds good, let me see what's going on".
We've taken a fear of commitment to a level of not even committing our minds to a train of thought.
I'm voting for a slow down. No more reasons of doing things just because "we can". More, we should do things when "we should".
Where should it start? With each of us. Believe me, no leader is going to stand up and say "slow down" (unless you're in a union, in which case...well...it's understood). No, our "leaders" are captains of industry; masters of their domain; powerful/knowledgeable people. They demand information NOW about stuff that's happening LATER. These are the same people who will choose to pollute a lake because "the law didn't state that we couldn't put THIS chemical in there". That will fleece people of their money because "hey, the law didn't say we couldn't put up dummy corporations to make us look profitable".
No, the revolution starts here. When you're sick of needing Red Bull just to make it through your week. When you're worn out from having to juggle work and time with the family. When you're staying home at 10:00 at night to work on a project for you boss that you got called on at 6:00 that same evening. It's time to say "MY TIME"
Because We Have To!!
There's this eternal quest that we, as people, are on each and every day for some sort of peace to the soul, world peace, peace through Jesus, whatever. Yet, we are constantly in the realm of chasing distraction.
I can't stand to pay my bills, so I'll watch TV
I don't like coming home to my wife, so I'm going to the bar
I hate doing my expenses for work, so I'll "research" on "MySpace"
I have important things to do so...oooooo....something shiny!
Distractions. And it's getting worse. Video games, blogs, MySpace, 500 channels of high definition TV, AM/FM/HD/Satellite Radio, Cell phones, Blackberrys, and on and on.
It's even gotten to the point that people refuse to make plans any more. You call someone, including me, and invite them to something, rarely do you get a "yes". It's more like a "sounds good, let me see what's going on".
We've taken a fear of commitment to a level of not even committing our minds to a train of thought.
I'm voting for a slow down. No more reasons of doing things just because "we can". More, we should do things when "we should".
Where should it start? With each of us. Believe me, no leader is going to stand up and say "slow down" (unless you're in a union, in which case...well...it's understood). No, our "leaders" are captains of industry; masters of their domain; powerful/knowledgeable people. They demand information NOW about stuff that's happening LATER. These are the same people who will choose to pollute a lake because "the law didn't state that we couldn't put THIS chemical in there". That will fleece people of their money because "hey, the law didn't say we couldn't put up dummy corporations to make us look profitable".
No, the revolution starts here. When you're sick of needing Red Bull just to make it through your week. When you're worn out from having to juggle work and time with the family. When you're staying home at 10:00 at night to work on a project for you boss that you got called on at 6:00 that same evening. It's time to say "MY TIME"
Because We Have To!!
Sunday, September 16, 2007
10 Pounds of Fucked Face Hate
I can't stand it in this small town anymore. I have to get out. I got left with this place in the divorce (though she got everything inside, I got stuck selling a shell). The realtors in this area are slipshod if not outright incompetent and this place is sucking my soul dry.
If I lived where I'm aiming, I'd be riding my bike around a lake, going to museums, seeing movies/plays/theater, LIVE MUSIC that isn't roustabout shit.
Instead, I have to pack up my existence and travel a few hours to get to anything that feels like home and away from the place listed as my current address. This place isn't hell in reality, but it's hell on me.
I'm in love, I have friends, and all of those are ELSEWHERE!!!
I've gotten to the point where I hate my ex wife for a ton of reasons, though I started by just not being able to stay married to her anymore. But for me being stuck out here for something I did for her, I am forever fucking mutilated in my heart when it comes to her being able to bolt and move on. She is a fuck stick and a cheat and selfish and stupid and I cannot believe I was married to that stink box for such a long period of time.
I just am fucking raging today against all things that are my past since they are preventing me from what I would like to have as my present.
If someone were to just burn my house down, you'd be helping me.
Fuck!!!!!
If I lived where I'm aiming, I'd be riding my bike around a lake, going to museums, seeing movies/plays/theater, LIVE MUSIC that isn't roustabout shit.
Instead, I have to pack up my existence and travel a few hours to get to anything that feels like home and away from the place listed as my current address. This place isn't hell in reality, but it's hell on me.
I'm in love, I have friends, and all of those are ELSEWHERE!!!
I've gotten to the point where I hate my ex wife for a ton of reasons, though I started by just not being able to stay married to her anymore. But for me being stuck out here for something I did for her, I am forever fucking mutilated in my heart when it comes to her being able to bolt and move on. She is a fuck stick and a cheat and selfish and stupid and I cannot believe I was married to that stink box for such a long period of time.
I just am fucking raging today against all things that are my past since they are preventing me from what I would like to have as my present.
If someone were to just burn my house down, you'd be helping me.
Fuck!!!!!
Sunday, September 2, 2007
That lingering wait...
I've never actually changed all that much from when I was a kid. I have in many ways (mortgage, bills, more responsible, etc), but there are just some things you revert to. I still procrastinate to a ridiculous degree. I still eat the wrong food and like watching TV. I still wait anxiously by the phone waiting for people who said they were going to call to actually CALL. I get nervous around women. All that shit.
The funny thing is, I've been finding things out about me that I didn't know. Some of these things would have been a MAJOR confidence booster. But I look back and kind of realize that I wouldn't have been a good guy if I had known things when I was younger. I think my life is progressing at the correct rate.
Now if I could just fucking lose weight and change some other habits so I can live to see my kids grow up, pay my stuff on time, and make progress in my workplace. I'm so happy with parts of my life, but so letting others just sit stagnant. Maybe it's not their time to be worked on and keeping them from evaporating but not growing is all I can do with them for now.
Until then, I gotta eat right. :)
The funny thing is, I've been finding things out about me that I didn't know. Some of these things would have been a MAJOR confidence booster. But I look back and kind of realize that I wouldn't have been a good guy if I had known things when I was younger. I think my life is progressing at the correct rate.
Now if I could just fucking lose weight and change some other habits so I can live to see my kids grow up, pay my stuff on time, and make progress in my workplace. I'm so happy with parts of my life, but so letting others just sit stagnant. Maybe it's not their time to be worked on and keeping them from evaporating but not growing is all I can do with them for now.
Until then, I gotta eat right. :)
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